What to do when you realize your friends aren't true

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Have you ever experienced losing a friend? If you have, then you know how much it hurts.

But have you ever experienced the pain of realizing that the people you've considered your friends didn't consider you the same way?

If you have, then you know just how much it hurts all the more.

The Bible, which contains all the instruction and encouragement we need to live a Godly life, gives us encouragement for those times when we realize that our friends aren't true.

In this article I hope to encourage you, dear reader.

"Indeed, let God be true but every man a liar." (see Romans 3:4)

When the people you loved abandon you

The Bible tells us the story of Job, an upright man, who felt abandoned by all the people he treated well. We read him say in Job 19:14,

"My relatives have failed me, my close friends have forgotten me."

Job, who experienced a terrible loss for no apparent wrong (see Job 1-2), was abandoned by the people he valued. In fact, three of his closest peers kept blaming him for his own misfortune even when they did not understand what was happening:

That it was the devil harassing him, not the consequences of his sins plaguing him.

In the midst of his struggles, no one was there to understand and encourage him. No one was there to hear him out without judging him.

It's either they stayed away, or only came to him to condemn him for his own suffering.

And so we read him speaking in anguish, "My relatives have failed me, my close friends have forgotten me."

Ever felt like that?

Well, the Bible gives us someone whose experience far surpasses the hurt that Job felt.

His name is Jesus Christ.

The sinless Savior all who suffered for doing nothing wrong

The Bible tells us that Christ came the world to save sinners. That's the condition He found all of us in when He arrived on earth as a baby: sinners.

Romans 3:10-12 tells us,

"There is none righteous, no, not one; There is none who understands; There is none who seeks after God. They have all turned aside; They have together become unprofitable; There is none who does good, no, not one."

Still, Jesus came to die in our place: a people totally unworthy of salvation, yet saved by the amazing grace of God:

"For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:6-8)

This Jesus suffered such loneliness that all the people abandoned Him:

  • Being rejected by the people He came to save:

"He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him." (John 1:11)

  • Being rejected by His family:

"For even His brothers did not believe in Him." (John 7:5)

  • Being abandoned by His beloved friends:

"Then all the disciples forsook Him and fled." (see Matthew 26:56)

More than these, this sinless Saviour who died in our place actually received more than just the death sentence for sins He never committed. Upon Him was placed the very punishment that God had stored up for our sins.

And so, He suffered the greatest loneliness no man can ever survive:

He even felt that God abandoned Him:

"And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, "Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?" that is, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?"" (Matthew 27:46)

How this helps us when we realize our friends aren't true

Friends, the Lord's very sufferings encourage and comfort us when we feel like the very people we treated well treat us badly in return.

When the people we considered as "friends" suddenly turn their backs on us, we can be assured that our very Lord and Master, who calls us His friends (see John 15:15), understands and continues to intercede for us and comfort us.

His sufferings enable us to go on. After all, we have Him; and since we have Him, we have everything we'll ever need.

"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls." (Hebrews 12:1-3)