Every year around this time, I watch parents and carers - including myself - get swept up in what I’ve started calling the “December tornado”. There are nativity costumes to source, carol concerts to attend, school fayres to volunteer at, and an ever-growing list of traditions we feel we ought to be doing. Add to that the pressure many Christian families feel to make Christmas spiritually meaningful, and it’s no wonder December can feel more exhausting than joyful.
We worry about getting it “right,” juggling expectations from family, school and social media while trying to keep Jesus at the centre for our children. But what I’ve learned - often the hard way - is that the families who seem to keep their faith most alive through Christmas aren’t the ones doing the most. They’re the ones who’ve worked out what truly matters for them.
The weight of modern Christmas expectations
Traditionally, the Christmas season ran from Christmas Day to Twelfth Night. Now the festivities seem to stretch across the entire month of December: advent calendars of every kind, pop-ups, Christmas jumper days, dinners and an endless stream of seasonal content. While stretching out the celebrations can be wonderful, it can also disrupt the small, everyday rhythms that help our families connect with God.
At home, we’ve found lots of little ways of connecting with God throughout the day like chatting to God or asking him questions at bedtime, breakfast or in the car. I’ve learned to protect these small routines even in the festive chaos. They don’t need to be Advent-themed to be meaningful. Actually, maintaining what’s normal can be more grounding than adding yet another Christmas activity. Our relationship with God is the constant that sustains us throughout the year, December included.
Choosing what actually works for your family
Christmas resources abound, but I find the real challenge is filtering them in a way that suits our family. The Instagram world has turned traditions into a kind of competitive sport, but I want to offer a simpler definition: a tradition is simply something you do, enjoy, and choose to repeat.
Instead of scrolling for ideas online, we now ask our kids what they actually remember and value from past Christmases. Starting with what they love to do and what they loved doing previously - not what the internet says they should love - has been surprisingly liberating for my own family.
When Christmas isn’t magical
I think it’s also really important to say this: it’s ok to find Christmas hard. We don’t need to pretend it’s all joy, when there can be really challenging realities. Financial strain, relationship tension, grief, estrangement - these affect many families, and Christmas can intensify these struggles. We’ve sat with parents and carers who are bereaved, who are navigating separation, who are worried about money, or who simply feel the weight of it all. God doesn’t expect us to put on a Christmas show. He invites honesty. When we model that for our children, acknowledging when things are stressful or sad, we teach them that faith is real even when life is messy. And that is a gift we can give them.
Investing in your own relationship with God
Whatever helps you connect with God, whether prayer, worship, or Bible reading, try to maintain it even during the busy season. I know how easily these things get squeezed out when we’re rushing between school plays and family gatherings.
But here’s what I’ve noticed: one of the most effective ways to disciple children is for them to see a messy, imperfect but real relationship with God in everyday life. Small things matter. Playing worship music, leaving your Bible out after reading it, speaking to God aloud about something you’re grateful for or worried about - these moments communicate faith in ways that structured activities sometimes can’t.
Beyond December
In the secular world, Christmas ends in a crash on Boxing Day. The Christian story is different. Jesus’ birth isn’t the endpoint. He came as good news of great joy for all people, and the amazing fact that he did that transforms our everyday lives.
The season passes, traditions change, children grow, but God’s love and purpose remain. That’s what matters most, and that’s what we can carry with us into January and beyond.
Anna Hawken is Parenting for Faith Ministry Lead at BRF Ministries. Find Christmas resources, including Questions for Advent, at parentingforfaith.brf.org.uk. The Parenting for Faith podcast relaunches in January with video episodes.
