Being competitive can be a good thing, but when married couples start competing with one another to try to get the upper hand in marriage, Pastor Craig Gross from XXX Church warns that trouble will ensue.
"t's easy to think of marriage as this always-changing power struggle, where you're always trying to figure out the things you're willing to give up so that you can get what you want. But that's old-school. And wrong," he wrote on their website.
Gross said a great marriage works like a pair of scissors. If both parts work in harmony — evenly and equally — then they're able to carve up whatever life sends their way. There is not one blade that is more dominant than the other, and they work best when they serve each other.
"When you serve your spouse, you're serving yourself," he stressed. "You aren't giving up a little of you in order to get something back later. You're giving and getting at the same time."
Couples argue and fight over the most mundane things such as doing the dishes. Some couples solve this issue by trading days when they wash the dishes, or maybe one decides to just do it all the time. Gross said no matter how couples work this issue out, they are already giving and getting at the same time.
"How? Because you've contributed to your marriage as a whole by pitching in. You've lightened the burden for them, which makes your marriage all the sweeter and which will continue to create a culture of service," he said. "You'll care for one another in every area, from domestic tasks to emotional work to spiritual growth."
The whole point, according to Gross, is to play each couple's strengths and find where they complement one another so they can work better as a team. "You do the stuff you're good at, they do the stuff they're good at, and you'll both be operating in your own giftings — serving your spouse while you serve yourself at the same time. That's how you both win," said Gross.
