A Nigerian woman shared her story of healing after being raped and becoming pregnant in an intimate essay published Tuesday.
Betty Esene was raped around 14 months ago, and remained in denial about the incident until a month later, when she found out she was pregnant.
"My first thought was 'ABORTION,' she admitted on LifeNews. "I was a young girl struggling to better my future and that of my family. 'The baby would ruin my hopes and aspirations for the future,' I thought."
Esene could not afford an abortion, however, and attempted to induce miscarriage herself by consuming dangerous substances. She also considered suicide, but decided against it for the sake of her mother.
Through seven months of pregnancy, she hated herself and her baby.
"I would usually hit my belly aggressively when alone and scream to the baby, 'Just die or go away, but whatever — don't come out through me!'" she recounted.
"I was highly traumatised and depressed in silence and agony..."
Finally, she told her family what happened to her, and received support from her mother and a non-governmental organisation through the remainder of her term and delivery.
"It was a difficult labour, but the moment I held him in my arms I felt an inner peace," she said. "Now I look at him and wonder how I could have ever rejected such a glorious blessing — he is the most wonderful and sweetest gift that life has given me!"
Esene said her bond is so strong with her son that she would rather be homeless than give him up for adoption.
"I don't see him as a product of rape," she explained. "Rather, I see him as a child of Destiny and that's the reason I named him 'DESTINY!'"
Esene works to support other women who become pregnant through rape, and said that every child has a right to life.
