What to do when the church hurts you

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We often get hurt when we are faced with other people, and this also proves true for the church. It may come as a shock to some, but the church is also a place where hurts can come. The word "church" comes from the Greek "ekklesia" which means "a gathering." In our case, it's a gathering of believers in the Lord Jesus Christ.

However, despite the fact that the church is a gathering of people that profess to be Christ-followers, we all know that it is still a body of people that are hurting, imperfect and are in need of God's amazing grace. With this, we should not expect that the church will be some sort of five-star hotel with all the comforts that we would dream of. Rather, we should expect that it is a place where God gathers those who He has redeemed and is working on until the day of Christ.

As such, expect to have some hurts or offenses from the church. Learning how to handle offenses that come from the church is very important if we desire to push through with the Word of God which says "let us not give up meeting one another as some are in the habit of doing." (Hebrews 10:25) Here are some ways you can face church hurts without losing faith in Christ and love for the brethren.

1) Recognise your true enemy

The Bible tells us that our battle is not against flesh and blood. (Ephesians 6:12) Rather, our enemy is the devil himself who is also tempting and harassing your offender. See the truth of the scenario: that your offender is also a person in need of God's help, and the devil is the one driving wedges in your Godly relationship with churchmates. (see 2 Corinthians 5:11)

2) Correctly evaluate the story

You need to see the situation correctly, as hurt or offense tends to colour our perception of things. What really happened? Why were you hurt? Pray to the Lord for wisdom so that you can see the truth of the scenario and learn how to handle it.  Getting a second opinion from a trusted confidante can also help.

3) Release forgiveness

Don't hold a grudge against any offender, whether it be that church volunteer, Sunday school teacher, worship leader or pastor. Forgive them and let God heal you, and deal with them. (see 2 Cor. 2:5-11)

4) Address the issue in the spirit of love

Matthew 18:15-17 says we should talk to our offender and tell them what was wrong. If they don't listen, bring a witness. If it doesn't work, open it up to the church. If it doesn't work, then at least you did your part. This is the way we should do it, so that all issues will be resolved and all parties involved will be forgiven and at peace.

5) Trust God to do His part

God is sovereign, and you can trust Him to make you grow through that circumstance. If there's any injustice, God will exact justice. Trust Him always.

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