Abuse is something that should be stopped, more so if the one guilty of doing it is a fellow Christian. It is a sin that should not smear any Christ believer, especially those who hold leadership roles in the church.
Whatever the means of abuse, it has to be stopped and confronted. In the family of believers, we are all called to be equal with each other, and no one has the right to force himself unto another believer, most especially if the victim has a meek and gentle spirit. God sees all the wrong done under the sun, and takes no pleasure when His children behave like those who are not His.
Do you know a brother or a sister in the faith who is being abusive of others? Here are some things that you can do to help fellow Christians stop sinning, and make it right with those they have abused.
1. Pray for the offender
The best thing to do would be to first pray to God for help in handling the offender. Pray to God that He would convict the offender of his sin, and soften his heart and mind so that you or an elder can approach him.
2. Tell the offender that what he is doing is wrong
Proverbs 27:5 tells us, "An open rebuke is better than hidden love!"
When we allow a fellow Christian to keep doing what he has been doing, we indirectly communicate that we either: a) approve of his conduct; b) do not care of what he is doing and should just go on with life; or c) are not inclined to tell him that what he is doing is sin before God.
If the offender is your friend, you have all the more reasons to rebuke that friend and lovingly confront him that it is wrong for him to do that. You should act as your brother's keeper (see Genesis 4:9) because God will ask you how you treated him.
3. Don't stop helping the offender until he is restored
According to Matthew 18, if the offender doesn't repent the first time you personally talk to him, you should bring a church elder the next time you talk. If he remains unconvinced, you should bring the matter to the church. If he doesn't repent, then you have to let him face the consequences, alone. Sad, but true.
If he repents and asks for forgiveness, then forgiveness should be given. We must do what we can to restore a fellow Christian who falls into sin (see Matthew 17:15-17; Luke 17:3-4; Galatians 6:1-3).
Remember to avoid falling into sin when you try to help an offender get back on the right track. It's better that the one who will approach the offender would be a close person with the same gender, so that further temptation could be avoided.
What about those who are abused?
Defend them. Proverbs 31:8-9 tells us, "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice."
Encourage them and pray for their healing.
