Nine years ago I closed the door of the Bishop's Palace in Peterborough, got into the car and drove out of the minster precincts. My husband Ian had developed a rare and incurable form of cancer and had died in office, and now I was leaving behind my tied clergy accommodation, my home and my community. I was leaving both the place and the memories and setting out alone, newly widowed, on an unexpected journey in search of a new life – a novice entering the experience of travelling solo.
Now I can look back on where that journey has taken me, both literally and metaphorically, and what I have learnt about the challenges and opportunities it has offered, and about the God who does not let the grass grow under my feet.
Stepping out – 'one more step along the world I go'
Coping with bereavement takes both time and courage – a lot of both. But eventually we need to be ready to step out in faith and move on. I have found, to my surprise, that bereavement and retirement have offered both the incentive and the freedom to travel in the literal sense. The legacy of a peripatetic clergy life is that the friends you want to keep in touch with are often scattered around the country. Likewise, my family are scattered with my elder son in Leeds, my daughter still in Peterborough, and my younger son in Australia. So both the metaphor and reality of journeying have mingled as I have worn out one little car and clocked up a lot of air-miles. The challenge has been to find the courage to step out on my own and to find the confidence to encounter new places and new people, and to cope with all the complications of modern travel. But I have found that whatever the challenges, the encouragement has come as I have keep travelling along with God.
Relying on God – 'God is good, all the time – all the time, God is good'
This African mantra focuses on the God who does not abandon us and who both supports and surprises us. This sense of 'God in action' has never left me. It has sustained me at times when I felt I lacked the courage to face the challenges of life, or when God has intervened in unexpected ways, or when new and surprising opportunities have arisen. The unexpected happened to me when I found myself in Christchurch Cathedral in New Zealand during the major earthquake in February 2011, and it created both the incentive and the opportunity to write as I asked God a whole lot of basic questions of the 'how', 'why', 'what' variety. The experience had given me a whole new perspective on life and literally jolted me into action. I had began to reflect on the previous four years and the ways in which God had intervened and been at work in my life, and I felt that it was a story that I wanted to share. Indeed it was, and continues to be, a story of unexpected blessing.
Expecting the unexpected
Along the way I have realised that perhaps faith should come with this health warning, and a reminder that our God can be a God of surprises and of the unexpected – both welcome and unwelcome. Perhaps it should also come with the encouragement always to view the glass as half full rather than half-empty, and to meet each new challenge with a 'can do' rather than a 'can't do' response. God does not promise us a safe passage, but he does promise that he will always be there. We will all face our own unique challenges and opportunities, but they will be part of God's unique plan for our life.
So...
Step out with God; expect the unexpected; and count your blessings – 'count them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord has done'.
Jo Cundy is a retired lawyer who lives in County Durham, and has three children and five grandchildren who enrich and encourage her solo journey. She is the author of 'Travelling Solo' and 'Letting Go of Ian', both of which are published by Monarch / Lion Hudson and available from bookshops and online.
