In the fight against sexual lust, many well-meaning Christian men have devised all sorts of tactics and strategies that would lead to victory.
- Some believe that making a covenant with the eyes not to look lustfully at a girl will work. After all, Job made such a covenant in Job 31:1.
- Some believe that by not interacting with or running away from women, they are able to avoid sexual lust. After all, Joseph himself chose to flee sexual temptation when the wife of his boss Potiphar invited him to commit adultery (see Genesis 39:12).
- Some even ask other men to help them in the fight. They make agreements to be transparent with each other and are allowed to check on one another's whereabouts and problems, particularly those sexual in nature. This principle of being a "brother's keeper," they believe, will greatly help.
Such methods do help, and I have nothing against them. In fact, I encourage them because I myself do them and found that they are indeed helpful.
But if there's one thing that innocent Godly men do to objectify the women around them, it's got to be this:
Thinking of women only as mere temptations to run away from, not as sisters and equals in God.
That's it?
So many well-intentioned Christian men do all sorts of things in order to avoid sexual lust, as well as break free from situations where sexual sin can happen. They do the things I mentioned above, and even more, but fail to deal with the issues in their hearts.
The truth is, regardless of a woman's clothing and behavior, if a man thinks of a woman the wrong way, he will likely fall into sin in his heart even if he does all sorts of behavior modifications. The Lord Jesus explained this very powerfully in Matthew 5:27-28, saying:
"You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
A heart matter
Guys, we have to go straight to the heart of the matter. We can't keep thinking of rules and lists of behaviors, expecting that they will change our hearts. We've got to stop lusting after women. We've got to stop thinking of them as reasons why men fall.
Why do men fall anyway? Committing sin is a choice we make (see Genesis 4:7; ).
We choose what we think, what we say, and what we do. The Lord Jesus says we must choose to stop sinning, even if it's painful to do:
"If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell." (Matthew 5:29-30)
So what do we do? By the grace of God, we must think of and see each and every woman according to how God sees them. Paul gives us a liberating instruction in 1 Timothy 5:2, saying:
"[Treat] older women as mothers, [and] younger women as sisters, with all purity."
In closing
Brothers, it's time we stop focusing on our outward behaviors. It's time we start focusing on having a pure heart and mind, one that sees women as sisters loved by God. If Christ was able to live a sinless life while having women follow Him, we can do it with His help, too.
