Stressed Out Over Arguments? Experts Say People Should Talk About and Remember the Past

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The Christmas holiday is a time of goodwill and cheer, but sometimes, people can't help but get into arguments with their family members and relatives.

While it might be tempting to shrug off arguments and try to forget about them, psychologists are saying otherwise. Experts told The Daily Mail that it actually helps if people go over the details of the argument in their head and remember exactly what happened so as to keep things in perspective.

Psychologists at the University of Exeter found that adults who remembered arguments and other emotional incidents are able to handle stress in the future better. Professor Ed Watkins from the university's Mood Disorders Centre revealed that the mental health of patients who do so is way better compared to that of people who just dwell on their bad feelings.

"Christmas and the New Year can be a tricky time for many people's mood, whether it be due to the colder and darker weather, the often common family tensions and quarrels – which sometimes lead to the reopening of old grievances – finances being tight, or the triggering of unfavourable comparisons with how we want to be this year or against 'picture-perfect' ideals of a merry Christmas," he said.

Because of this, Watkins said there is often an increase in referrals for treatment for depression in January and February. But if people learn how to stay within the details of what happened and keep things in context, they will be able to control their emotions and prevent the festive season from turning into an unpleasant experience.

Watkins and his team did a six-week trial with patients suffering from clinical depression. They were trained to spot warning signs for stress and then asked to review stressful situations they had experienced. They were told to focus on things they've seen, heard, felt, and smelled.

They discovered that when patients did a thorough review of these stressful situations, they reduced symptoms of depression.

"We have found in the lab that when people train themselves to think about the specific sensory details, context and sequence of an emotional event, including how it unfolded, they were more emotionally resilient to an unexpected stressor than those who thought about the meaning and implications of emotional events," said Watkins.

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