The Bible tells women to be submissive to their husbands, but Pastor John Piper says there are certain parameters that women must take in order to ensure that they do not lose themselves in their marriages.
"Submission is the defined calling of a wife to honour and affirm her husband's leadership, and so help to carry it through according to her gifts," Piper writes on his website DesiringGod.org.
As important as it is to understand what submission is, Piper also says that women should be reminded what submission is not. He lists down these six things:
1. Submission is not agreeing on everything.
"Submission does not mean you must agree with the opinions of your husbands, even on things as fundamental and serious as the Christian faith," says Piper.
God created everybody with a mind. As such Piper urges women to think for themselves and not act like robots.
2. Submission does not mean leaving your brain at the altar.
There are some men who do not understand authority and leadership, and therefore use these things to abuse their wives. Piper says that a good leader will always be open to listening to their wives, and the woman should not be silenced just so she can be submissive to her husband.
"All throughout the marriage, a husband is reckoning with an independent mental centre that has thoughts that are worth listening to. It's the working out of a one-flesh union," says Piper. "Good leadership often says, 'You were right; I was wrong.'"
3. Submission does not mean you do not try to influence your husband.
If a man is living in sin, it is important for his wife to try and change him. Piper says a wife is not loving if she will let her husband carry on with his misdeeds. "Submission does not mean avoiding the effort to influence or change the husband," says Piper.
4. Submission is not putting the will of the husband before the will of Christ.
God will always come first in every couple's lives, and no husband should force his wife to choose him over the Lord. "Christ is her Lord now, and for the Lord's sake, she will submit to the husband, but he is not her Lord," clarifies Piper. "Therefore, wherever she must choose between the two, she chooses Jesus."
5. Submission does not mean getting all of her spiritual strength through her husband.
"He's not giving her any spiritual strength in this text and she's got lots of it. Her hope is in God. She's probably going to church on Sunday morning before he gets up, getting her strength elsewhere, getting her worldview elsewhere," says Piper.
6. Submission does not mean living or acting in fear.
Lastly, Piper says that a God-fearing wife is fearless because she gets her courage from God.
"I believe that men are called to a unique kind of leadership in marriage. I believe that women are called to a unique kind of submission in marriage. And I think it's a beautiful thing — the way those two roles complement and serve one another," he says.
