"Duck Dynasty" star Mary Kate Robertson, wife of John Luke, always sports a huge smile on her face, and it's difficult to imagine her living anything but a charmed life. However, she admitted recently on her blog that she struggled with depression after getting married in June 2015.
Robertson said while they were honeymooning in Australia and Bora Bora, she would cry for no reason. She couldn't explain her feelings to her husband, even though he was nothing short of wonderful to her. When they got back, they moved to Virginia so they could start school at Liberty University. Robertson knew it was going to be a huge adjustment living far away from her family, but the reality still shocked her.
"During this time I cried every single day," she admitted. "There was always this overwhelming feeling of sadness. I felt overwhelmed by social situations and talking to people. I was extremely stressed out over my classes. I got anxiety over driving. My heart was constantly aching."
"At first, I felt like I had the right to be upset over moving. That I had the right to be mad. I didn't want to be happy about being there. I so often tried to replace my sadness with anger and bitterness. My flesh wanted to thrive in that. But in my soul I longed to be joyful again," she continued.
Robertson was thirsting for God so she quenched her thirst by reading the Bible daily for encouragement. She asked Him to restore her joy. The highlights of her week would always involve God — whether it be in Bible study, worship in school, or Bible classes.
Still, emotional battles persisted as they continued moving around and going on speaking engagements and attending events. They struggled with schoolwork, and Robertson even got into a car accident. She began questioning God about His goodness until a friend gave her a wake-up call: "Mary Kate, are you seeking God for what He can give you or are you seeking God because He is God?"
"Looking back, He was with me every step of the way. Not only was He offering me Himself as my source of joy, but He was offering me so many things around me as bonuses but I was missing them because I was looking to get out of my depression though other things I thought He had for me," she said.
God was offering her joy in her depression, but it was a constant battle for her to receive it. Robertson said she faced the toughest year of her life last year, and she hated every minute of it. But now, she can look back at it and thank God for His faithfulness.
"I can thank Him for a husband who sticks with me. I can thank Him for letting me be in the desert, because it was in that desert that I learned to cling to Him and seek Him like never before," she said. "I have never been more thankful in my entire life. I am so grateful for a God who is offering me joy during my trials and a God who is offering me hope after my life on earth."
