The holidays are always a festive season to bond with loved ones, but it can be a traumatising time for those who have just lost a parent, spouse, sibling, or a friend.
Rhonda O'Neill, author of "The Other Side of Complicated Grief," wrote for the Huffington Post that whenever people lose someone they love, they feel as if life is moving on without them, and it's difficult for them to move forward. The holidays, for that matter, are the worst.
"There are few times during the year when your loved one's absence will be more deeply felt and mourned than during these holidays," she said. "These special days will become days you will have to get through, rather than occasions you can continue to celebrate and enjoy. Be prepared that these family holidays will potentially be some of the most challenging days you will have."
In order to help mourning people get through the day, O'Neill offered a few words of advice. The author said getting through the day is enough. Hence, mourners need to be kind and patient with themselves during this time.
"You don't have to keep it all together, you just have to get through the day. You can pick back up on the work of healing your grief after the day is over," she said. "Regardless of the pressure you may feel to act like you are okay, it is okay to feel sad. You are in pain and you shouldn't have to hide that pain to make others around you feel more comfortable."
Next, people should listen to what their bodies and emotions are telling them. Some might have wallowed in sadness too much that they end up feeling physically ill. O'Neill said they should care for themselves the same way they would care for their dearest loved ones.
O'Neill said mourners should not feel guilty about saying no to family gatherings or reunions. She acknowledged though that because of grief, people might not be able to keep up with all of the activities they've enjoyed doing before.
And lastly, it's okay to remember past holidays shared with dearly departed loved ones. "Remember the beautiful holidays you were blessed to share with your loved one before they died. What amazing gifts we received. This love can help to comfort you, and this love will always belong to you," she said. "Love can never be lost. When love and loss exist side-by-side, the pain of your loss will become easier to bear."
