When a couple get married, one of the pieces of advice they'll receive is "Put Christ at the center of your relationship," but they can still find themselves doing anything but that when they are faced with life's challenges.
Book author Rob Green has a few tips on keeping husbands and wives on track by having Christ in the centre.
According to Green, couples need to make the Lord a priority in their relationship, but some spend very little of their, time, talent or resources in accomplishing things for the cause of Christ. He said that if a couple are not actively using their gifts to serve the Lord, then Christ cannot possibly be at the centre of the relationship.
He recommends that couples take time to ask themselves some tough questions and do a little self-reflecting on areas they can change, rather than reaching for the easy option of blaming their spouse.
"Consider a time when you and your spouse were not communicating well. Each of you was saying increasingly hurtful things and you felt your blood pressure rising. If you were paying attention to Christ then you would have been asking questions like, "How does God want to use this criticism to help me grow to be more like Christ?" "What do I need to learn about my spouse?" "What did I do that encouraged this type of reaction?"
"In other words, the conflict became an opportunity for you to grow and change, not an opportunity for you to blame the immaturity of your spouse," he said.
Maintaining spiritual disciplines is also a sign of a Christ centered relationship. Having the time for prayer and study with the enthusiasm of people who are genuinely excited to have conversations with the Lord will give couples a joyful experience that can carry over to their everyday lives, he maintains.
Sacred Marriage author GaryThomas, in an article on Focus on the Family, urges couples to see marriage as designed by God - a relationship that has the power to unite couples in the face of hardship. He acknowledges that even couples who have strong foundations of faith may find marital issues too overwhelming, causing them to fold in the process. But instead of instinctively growing apart, they should see challenges as an opportunity to move toward one another.
"The image I use in Sacred Marriage is that we need to learn how to 'fall forward.' That is, when we are frustrated or angry, instead of pulling back, we must still pursue our partner under God's mercy and grace. With a Christ-centered relationship, an other-centered attitude and an unwavering commitment to making it work, your marriage can flourish — just as God designed," he said.
