I've been running half-marathons for more than a year now, and I can't help but see the similarity between marriage and running long distances. One thing I've found to be true is that when running long distances, one needs to shed as much baggage and weight as possible.
But though we need to drop some items before a run, there are some things we cannot run without. They are essentials to have when doing a long run like running shoes (obviously), a water bottle, a tracker, and maybe a belt bag to carry towels and some cash.
You can think of those essentials as your children. Yes, it might be a little extra weight, but they are there to strengthen your marriage, not pull it down. We can and should grow in our marriage even as kids start coming into our love story. Here are five simple ways that Christian couples can grow in marriage while having kids.
1. Ask for God to Build Your Marriage
Psalm 127:1 tells us, "Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain."
God builds our household and our marriages when we allow Him to and no one builds as excellently as our God.
2. Don't Think of Kids As Competition
In verse three of Psalm 127, the Scripture says, "Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward."
Children only become a hindrance to marriage when we treat them as such. However, as we speak into them and into our marriage, blessing and synergy, our parenthood and romance can actually experience God's best in both areas.
3. Spend Time Alone Together
No, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be alone. I know parents who often feel guilty when they have to leave their kids at home to have dinner or go on vacation with their spouse. But you owe it to yourself and to your spouse to spend time alone, whether that's simply once a week or even more.
4. Plan for Times to Be Intimate
As I've grown as a spouse and parent, I have realised one thing: If it's not scheduled, it's not happening. Life can get hectic and unless we plan deliberately not even intimacy will happen naturally. It may seem awkward to talk with your spouse about a time in a day and week where you can get physically intimate (even to the extent of talking about sexual intimacy) but what's worth having is worth discussing and planning out.
5. Don't Stop Pursuing One Another
The pursuit of each other does not end with wedding vows or even parenthood. Couples are to pursue each other and to desire to know and serve each other more and more as years go by. Parenting doesn't have to fight with intimacy. They can and will work hand in hand if we allow them to.
