What makes a happy marriage? Rhonda Stoppe, author of the book "If My Husband Would Change, I'd Be Happy & Other Myths Wives Believe," says many women mistakenly think they can be happy if they marry the "ideal" spouse.
However, Stoppe warns women that if they continue believing in this myth, then they will never be truly happy. The only way a wife can enjoy her husband is if she learns to accept him for who he is and not who she wishes him to be.
"I know women in difficult marriages who find their marriages transformed when they choose to think only what is good about their husbands. The battle is in your minds, ladies," the author tells Charisma News. "When you determine to think on what is good, right and honorable about your man—you know, the way you hope he will think about you—then the peace that surpasses all understanding will rule in your hearts, minds and homes."
Women have to adjust their expectations especially after marriage, says Stoppe. When couples are still dating, most of their weekends are filled with fun adventures. But once the dust settles in, married couples have to face a myriad of chores and other responsibilities.
"Before my husband and I were married, our weekends were filled with fun dates and lazy days picnicking near a river's edge. I was convinced being married to this man of my dreams was the key to my happily-ever-after," shares Stoppe. "After the honeymoon, it wasn't long before my weekends became consumed with doing housework. Gone were the weekend dates. I began to feel resentment toward my husband over the lack of fun in my life."
Had she not sought the counsel of other godly women, Stoppe says she might have continued harbouring wrong attitudes towards her husband that might have destroyed their marriage.
Meanwhile, Stoppe also discussed the importance of wives making their husbands feel desirable, both physically and emotionally. If women treat sex with their husbands as a tiresome responsibility, then Stoppe says this will have a negative impact on their wellbeing.
On the other hand, women who value physical intimacy with their husbands provide them with a special sense of empowerment.
"When you find your husband sexually desirable and he feels loved for who he is, then you fill him with a sense of strength, well-being and confidence," she says.
