"If the forgiveness that we received at the cost of the blood of the Son of God, Jesus Christ, is so ineffective in our hearts that we are bent on holding unforgiving grudges and bitterness against someone, we are not a good tree. We are not saved. We don't cherish this forgiveness. We don't trust in this forgiveness." – John Piper, Desiring God
If you think what your offender did to you is destructive, you should know how equally destructive holding a grudge really is. Not releasing forgiveness is a terrible thing to do, not because it means withholding your peace from your offender, but because you deny yourself from experiencing the mighty power of God's forgiveness to you, offered on that Cross in Calvary.
How a Grudge Destroys Our Lives
Friends, holding grudges can destroy you. Whether we like to admit it or not, harbouring unforgiveness and bitterness in our hearts hinder us from fully experiencing the life of freedom that God gave to us through Christ's death and resurrection on the cross.
Grudges are effective in blocking us from experiencing God's goodness in Christ. The Lord Jesus Himself said in Matthew 6:14-15,
"For if you forgive men for their sins, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men for their sins, neither will your Father forgive your sins." (MEV)
This doesn't mean that we need to forgive to be saved. This is because salvation is not by what we do. It does mean, however, that if we don't forgive others for what they did against us, we will not experience the freedom God's forgiveness brings. This is true especially with the sin of unforgiveness that we cherish.
Practical Terms
Friends, the forgiveness that we have received in Christ allows us to live free from condemnation of our sins—free from the guilt we feel, and free from the grip of sin over our lives.
When we hold grudges, it's like saying that we never really received Christ's forgiveness and are still unsaved.
Here are some more ways we destroy our lives by being unforgiving:
1. We Lose Sight of God's Forgiveness
When we are unforgiving, we actually lose sight of God's great forgiveness towards us. We forget that the sin we have committed greatly offended God and separated us from Him, and that the death of God's own Son was the price needed for us to be restored to Him.
2. We Lose Sight of the Good Things God Has Set Before Us, Including Our Relationships
When we focus on our offender's act, we lose sight of the good things God has in store for us. Our focus is on our hurts, instead of God's healing; on our loss, instead of the blessings that God has bestowed on us; on our pain, instead of the learning and the relationships that we could have.
3. We Lose Sight of the Freedom Christ Bought for Us
When we hold a grudge, we're unable to live in freedom. We carry an unnecessary weight that hinders us from living a life of love.
Forgive and Regain Your Sight
Friends, unforgiveness blinds us from seeing what God has done for us in Christ. It also destroys our relationships, steals our joy, and blocks us from enjoying Christ's forgiveness. Let's all learn to forgive those who hurt us so that we will see God better.
"Instead, be kind to each other, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." – Ephesians 4:32
