Believers are often divided between two schools of thought when it comes to using words to grow. Some will consider rebuke, correction and constructive criticism as the most effective words to help grow others. And then there are those who consider praise, encouragement and motivational coaching as a better way of growing people.
What does the Bible have to say about this? Apparently the mix is incredibly balanced. While a lot of verses talk about rebuke and correction, others point to encouragement and edification.
It's not so much what you say, but what intent it is built around. When the intention is never growth, it doesn't matter what kinds of words are spoken. People will not grow.
Proverbs 18:21 say, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits."
We are quick to identify the first part of that verse and know what it means to say "death and life lie in the power of the tongue," but what does the last part have to say?
The love of the tongue and the words we speak determine the fruit of the tongue's power. When we are run by a love to talk for the sake of being heard and having authority over people, the fruits will not always be what we want it to be. When we are run by a love for people and seeing them grow, the fruits will be more in line with what a Christian mission aims to achieve. In other words, intent matters.
Do your words encourage or discourage growth? It all depends on why you say what you say. That's why it's crucial to communicate intent and to really make sure our intent is where it should be. Let us remember that we serve a God who looks at the heart, and thus we are to be careful to look at the same thing especially when man generally never goes down that deep.
Proverbs 4:23 tells us, "Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life."
While the tongue has the power of life and death, the heart is the source of the life or death that the tongue becomes a channel of. It's not so much the words we speak all the time but the heart motive that determined whether our words will encourage or discourage growth.
When speaking to people — whether in correction or in encouragement — what is your intent? Do you speak to make yourself feel good and important or do you speak out of the desire to truly see others benefit and grow?
