I had my first heart attack in 2005 and my second in 2006. While in hospital the second time, I promised myself I would paint my version of the Stations of the Cross. So I got hold of a 30 foot by 59 inches single piece of canvas.
Half way through painting this, which I titled 'Golgotha', I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. It was when having a routine blood clot reading in the hospital that I chanced on a poster about prostate cancer; and thought, I have some of those symptoms.
I had a simple PSA test and cancer was identified. So, if I did not have the heart attack I would possibly have missed identifying the prostate cancer. I was 54.
The strange part was, I felt no anger. No 'why me'. I felt blessed that my cancer was caught early and finished painting 'Golgotha - The Place of the Skull'. Also what I found strange was a feeling of calm and serenity. I felt I was in another place when painting 'Golgotha'. As an artist, since the age of 16 when my first studio was a garage I rented from my neighbour in the back lane to my mom's house, I always 'felt' the therapeutic and spiritual energies associated with art and making art.
'Golgotha' was a challenge to my being. It was only when I exhibited it in The Prayer Hall during the 50<sup>th International Eucharistic Congress in Dublin in 2012 that I 'got' the true essence of Golgotha, witnessed the light that is within us all and which I realised in my self through being part of the painting of Golgotha. This was through witnessing the silent prayer that took place with the paintng displayed in this massive prayer hall, displayed behind the altar on a 30 foot long wall.
The act of silent prayer – and mostly women praying – was a powerful setting to witness a work I was involved in bringing about.
The Internatonal Eucharistic Congress was a truly global event with nuns and pilgrims from all over the world in attendance. Some cardinals and bishops did seem a bit annoyed that a 'contemporary' work with contemporary titles was on display behind the altar as opposed to a more traditional figurative work being on display, the more standard Stations of The Cross that most people are familiar with.
But it was the traditional Stations of the Cross that inspired my approach and inspiration for my own work.
Raised and churched in Roman Catholic Ireland of the 1950s and 1960s, I was tutored in the story and suffering told in and by the Stations of the Cross. For me there is much more to the standard Stations of the Cross as seen in Church's. In 'Golgotha –The Place of the Skull' I offered an alternative view. The titles of each panel are my response to the panels and are intended as a starting point for you the viewer.
How you, the viewer respond to the panels is a process of your own experience. There is no right or wrong response; for your experience with each panel is personal; as was my naming each panel. I believe thinking is important for ones spiritual development.
I had not shared my health issues or reasons why I painted 'Golgotha' to the organisers, mostly women, of the congress.Yet women, nuns, from all over the globe responded to the passion and blessing of the work. By nature I am a shy person. However the love and honest respect shared by the women during the congress blew me away, as did the power of silent prayer.
From witnessing and experiencing the energy of the power of prayer and being part of 'Golgotha' I have retained that inner calm and serenity to this day when engaged in art and art making; for which I am grateful.
My daily prayer I share with you: 'Let the darkness be gone, Let the light be within.'
Derek Culley is a self-taught artist who was born and educated in Dublin. He was a founder member and chairman of Celtic Vision with the painters John Bellany and Denis Bowen, and participated in the group's exhibition tour -European wide. Besides Ireland, Golgotha was exhibited at the Liverpool Anglican CAthedral in 2011. Follow him on Twitter @DerekCulley.
