The Bible has a lot to say about false friends, but people don't always realise that they are already forging relationships with false friends until it is too late.
Author and Charisma Magazine senior editor Jennifer LeClaire writes in Charisma News that even though she has encountered several false friends throughout her lifetime, she still prefers to keep her heart open to everyone.
"I don't believe in putting up walls, though boundaries are wisdom. I don't believe in operating out of suspicion, though discernment is essential. I lean heavily on the Word of God, which points out ways to discern false friends," she says.
In order to help, LeClaire shares five warning signs of false friends:
1. False friends are selfish and self-centred.
False friends always bring about plenty of drama. When they are jealous, they will try to tear their friends down. "They may have selfish ambition in their heart and get upset when you won't give them a leg up. Or they may be self-centred and inconsiderate of everyone else but themselves," she says.
LeClaire notes that these false friends might simply be immature. But despite that fact, Christians must be wise enough to know that true friendships do not harbour "consistent unrest, disharmony, rebellion, and other evil and vile practices."
2. False friends manipulate and control.
LeClaire says false friends will surely be controlling and manipulative. They might or might not be aware of what they are doing, but they end up hurting their "friends" when they force them into caving in or conceding to their pressure. The worst part about this set-up is when a person finally confronts a false friend's control games, because he or she will only "turn the table on you and accuse you of being the manipulator."
"This is a toxic relationship. True friends don't make false accusations. That's the devil's job," warns LeClaire.
3. False friends kick you when you are down.
Whenever false friends see someone suffering, they will immediately "launch their accusations, unearth their offences and demand discussions even when it's clear you can't take another hit," LeClaire says.
4. False friends use and abuse you.
When LeClaire says "use," it means "to insult, to treat abusively, use [despisefully], to revile, to accuse falsely, to threaten." False friends will give ultimatums, launch false accusations, and make veiled or unveiled threats whenever they don't get their way.
5. False friends break covenants and betray you.
"False friends will say what you want to hear to get in your inner circle. False friends will serve you faithfully until it no longer benefits them — then they will break covenant and betray you," says LeClaire. "True friends are loyal even when they disagree."
