Not every Christian couple prays together, but this act can be the single most important thing husbands and wives can do together so they can forge a closer connection.
Christian author and speaker Cindi McMenamin says even though her husband has been a pastor for over two decades and she has been heavily involved in ministry herself, it took them 20 years into their marriage before they decided to pray together regularly.
When they reflected why it took so long for them to prioritise prayer time together, they came up with several reasons. Their schedules don't often agree, and they initially felt intimidated by each other's spiritual strength. Sometimes, they went through misunderstandings, distractions, personal fatigue, and so many other issues that they were unable to connect through prayer.
McMenamin feels closer to her husband now that they have started praying together.
She shared with Charisma News seven tips on how husbands and wives can pray together in order to inspire other married couples to follow suit:
1. Talk to God first.
McMenamin notes that it is important to talk to God first about one's desire to pray with his or her spouse. "Ask God for the time in your schedule, for wisdom in how to suggest it to your spouse, and that God will prepare the heart of your spouse to desire this time with you, as well," she says.
2. Set a time.
When people set a prayer appointment with their spouse, both husband and wives are more likely to keep it. There will be times when the prayer schedule will have to be postponed, says McMenamin, but spouses must be flexible and extend some grace.
3. Ease into it.
"There's a reason prayer is considered a spiritual discipline. And as with any habit or discipline, it will take work. So ease into it," suggests McMenamin. "You might even start with praying together once a week for a brief time, then gradually increase your prayer time to two or three times a week until it becomes a part of your daily schedule."
4. Keep it short.
McMenamin notes that there is nothing wrong with husbands and wives limiting the time they spend together in prayer, especially when they are just first starting out.
5. Keep it simple.
It is important for couples to respect their spouse's time and pray only about pressing issues that concern their family, says McMenamin, such as their job, health, or financial issues. They can also pray about the salvation or spiritual life of loved ones, or the behavioural issues of one's children.
6. Keep it safe.
McMenamin suggests that couples remove any possibility of intimidation by letting one's spouse know that prayer time together isn't "an arena for judgment or assumption." When couples pray, they won't judge each other or be critical of one another.
7. Keep it supportive.
"Praying with your spouse about sensitive issues in your marriage or situations in your past that may cause him or her to feel regret or remorse might not be best," she says. "Save the heavier, deeply personal issues for God. He can handle them, and many times your spouse won't know what to do upon hearing prayers that might be directed at him or her and any trouble or anxiety he or she may be causing the marriage."
