Biblical counselling can be a daunting task for church leadership because of many reasons.
In counselling, one can never assume anything coming into a meeting with someone. You can come thinking this person needs help in a certain area when the fact is that the hurt goes deeper. And then there's the spiritual weight of dealing with sin issues- whether the counselee is the offender or victim- and the moral implications it holds.
That's why it's important in any counselling situation to partner with the Holy Spirit and remain sensitive as you bring people through the process of healing because at the end of the day it is not us who brings healing and restoration but God. We are merely instruments of reconciliation, and as instruments we can be very faulty ones at times.
What are some of the ways that we can be faulty in being instruments for change in people's lives? Here are some things we can avoid doing when counselling brothers and sisters.
Don't give advice. Biblical counselling is not about giving advice to people, and telling them what we would do in their situation. Although it would be helpful, this should not be the main goal of the meeting. Instead we are to ask questions to draw out from people their own solutions as they are filled by God's Spirit once more, and show them what the Bible says. We want them to be dependent on God, not us.
Don't pass judgment. As obvious as this sounds, this can be one of the most tricky no-no's. We could know that we shouldn't be judgmental, but the smallest hints and unchecked statements can pass off as judgment so it's best to be extra careful with the things we say and do.
Don't leave out the Gospel. True healing only comes through the understanding of what Jesus has already done to set someone free. The problem of people is not that they don't know what to do, but they may have forgotten the implication of what Jesus has done for us. The cross is the starting and ending point of a Christian's life so point people to that.
Don't incautiously counsel the opposite sex. Although it is not sinful nor prohibited by God to counsel the opposite sex, there will be instances that we will have to be careful in such cases. When dealing with sexual immorality, it's best to pass the load to a church leader of the same sex as the counselee or a spouse.
Don't forget to pray. This is yet another obvious idea, but one that can be neglected too. A one-hour lesson can go by so quickly, so be mindful of time to make sure you still have plenty of time to pray after a conversation.
