The strength and sanctity of marriage can often come into question. If you are starting to question your marriage, be assured that it's not the end of it just yet. Every marriage experiences trials and testing. No one ever promised that it would be easy. But God promises that we can experience both enjoyment and fulfilment from our marriages.
In Mark 10:9, Jesus says, "What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate."
God's true design for marriage is for it to be built around two inseparable people thriving in a relationship that honours God and brings pleasure not just to the couple but to the people around them.
When struggles and problems come into marriage, it's natural for questions to arise. But the kinds of questions we ask will determine whether we will grow more in love with each other, or grow further apart.
Here are four important questions to ask when you experience struggles in your marriage.
1. What Is Your Real Situation?
Are there areas that you and your spouse do not agree on? Are there problems that need to be addressed? Bringing resolution to them starts first with acknowledging that there is a problem. When we tend to sweep things under the rug, the mess just starts to pile up and causes more trouble in the future.
2. Is Christ The Centre Of Your Marriage?
In everything we do, Christ ought to be at the centre, meaning He is to be the motivation of whatever we do. I am grateful for a wife who loves Jesus more than she loves me. Because of that, I am confident that I can trust and rely on her because she trusts and relies on God. 1 Corinthians 3:11 tells us, "For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ."
3. Do I Put My Effort In Serving My Spouse?
"My spouse doesn't serve me enough." If this thought is in your mind, maybe you should start asking yourself whether you have unconditionally served your spouse enough as well. Reciprocity is important, but it has to start with someone. Maybe you can make that effort of being the catalyst of wholesome change in your marriage.
4. What Can I Change To Improve My Marriage?
Before you even start praying, "Lord, change my spouse," we should first pray "Lord, change me."
You'll be surprised to know that it was you who needed changing all along. We cannot control the actions, attitudes and mindsets of others, not even that of our spouse.
However, we do have agency over our own. And as we take responsibility to change ourselves and just trust God to work in our spouse's hearts, we will see more positive change in our marriage.
