Don't you just wish that pastors could be more upfront about everything? Sometimes it feels like they don't tell us all we have to know and they really don't. It's not because your pastor doesn't care about you or doesn't want you to be successful. There are just some things that are better learned on your own.
I used to think that just because I went to church and had listened to every sermon on love, courtship and marriage that I would know everything that I would have to know coming into a relationship. When I married my wife, despite all my prepping, I was completely clueless coming into it. And maybe sometimes that's God's way of teaching us to rely more and more on Jesus by keeping Him the centre of everything that happens in our marriage.
Jesus says through Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:9, "...My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
This applies even in our marriage. We won't always know everything, but as we walk in Christ more, we realise how He moves even when we can barely move. Here are three things that your pastor probably missed to tell you about marriage.
You're going to suck at it
No one ever comes to marriage fully equipped with all knowledge and strategy on how things are going to turn out. We can and should plan out and prepare as much as we can, but there comes a time when things just won't go your way. In that time, God allows us to go through a series of frustrations and failure in our marriages so that we may look to Him more than our own knowledge, skills, looks and abilities.
You can't do it alone
As we grow more into marriage, we start to understand Ecclesiastes 4:12 more - "And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken." When we make Christ that third cord, it may not always feel like it, but our marriage is more than fine.
We can't do marriage on our own. We need to partner with both our spouse and to partner even more with God and stop relying on our own ability.
Your spouse will not fulfil you
You're probably thinking that because you're married, you're now going to be happy and satisfied because you get to share companionship with someone. I'm sorry to have to break this to you, but your spouse will not complete you. That's a job that only Jesus can do.
Because so many men and women come into a marriage seeking to have needs met, we become like leeches that suck the life, joy and being out of our husbands or wives. God meant for all joy and satisfaction to come from Him and then let spouses share in the outflow of the fullness they have received through Christ. So, keep your relationship with God first and your relationship with your spouse second and everything will naturally fit together better.
