People often do wrong things when they're hurting from the betrayal of a friend or loved one. These wrong things are often regrettable and can cause a person's healing to take a longer time, not to mention possibly aggravate the pain or hurt that the person feels.
The Bible tells us that there's a time for everything under the sun. Whether it's laughter or tears, or mourning or singing, there will always be a time for everything. And when the hurting person gets healed by God's love in time, the results will be beautiful, just as God had intended it to be.
Are you still hurting from the betrayal of a friend and hoping to be healed by God? Here are some things you should avoid to let your healing be whole.
1. Blaming Yourself for Letting It Happen
This can be summed up in two words: "self-condemnation." Condemning yourself for trusting too much and investing too much of your time, effort, or resources into a relationship will never ever help solve the problem. Worse, it blinds you to the truth.
The Lord Jesus said, "the truth shall set you free." What really happened anyway? Avoid making exaggerations, hoping to put the weight on yourself when you didn't actually do anything wrong. If you were the victim, admit it. If you allowed it, admit it. But don't blame yourself for what others have done.
2. Dwelling on the Loss
The great prophet Samuel once sat down mourning over King Saul, whom he had anointed as Israel's king. Of course we could understand that: He was, after all, God's spokesperson to the nation. How could he have made the wrong choice? How could he have failed at preventing Saul from falling in disgrace?
The truth is, God didn't want him dwelling on the fall, because God had a different plan that was already set in motion. And the same goes for you.
Isaiah 53:18-19 tells us to stop dwelling on our past experiences because God is doing new things. If we keep looking back to the time of betrayal and hurt, we might miss the healing and grace that God has been presenting to us on a moment-by-moment basis, starting from the time we called to Him for help.
3. Desiring to Get Even
Lastly, don't ever desire to get even. In the Bible, God told us not to avenge ourselves, but rather we should let Him avenge us. What's our part? To forgive and move on.
Desiring to get even will actually make matters worse for us. Not only do we sin by disobeying God when He said not to repay evil with evil, but we also fail to see the purposes for our pain. We also end up failing to fix our eyes on Jesus, and our minds on things above.
