Society loves to write marriage as a 'piece of paper', nothing more than an agreement between two consenting adults entering into a legal union, and sometimes even in church, we can fall into the same trap.
For many of us, we know the Bible verses on marriage off by heart. But there is the danger that we reduce a Christ-like marriage to the pressure to keep up with certain conditions and premises and we lose that simple enjoyment that comes from the abundance of a heart filled with God's love.
The first time I read Ephesians 5 was nothing compared to the way I read it today. The scripture says this:
"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior... Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."
Prior to my breakthrough in marriage, the way I would read this text was no different from the way I read the terms and conditions of a toothbrush. With an overt sense of over-confidence, I thought I knew what I was supposed to do when really I was missing the point. Marriage is more than just simply complying with the generic "love and submit" mantra we are used to hearing.
Here are three more profound rules on marriage that flow out of this simplistic picture of the ideal marriage.
Remain in the purpose. Of all the people in the world, why did God bring you and your spouse together into a partnership that would last for the rest of your life? There is a reason why you are married to your spouse and it goes beyond just your needs and their needs. It's about advancing God's kingdom as a couple. It's key that husbands and wives discuss their purpose and direction and pray for and about this as often as possible as well.
Remember the promise. God doesn't just give us empty premises without attaching a promise to it. What promise has God given you and your spouse today? We must never be so absorbed by rules and regulations that we forget the joys and benefits of marriage. God calls us to obey, but only because He has a better way of doing things that will bring about joy and blessing.
Focus on the Person. There's a reason why God values marriage so much - because it is His way of providing an image of His partnership and commitment to all mankind. Love "as Christ loved the church." Submit "as the church is to submit to Christ." Your marriage is a reflection of God's grace and mercy through Jesus Christ and it is our privilege to see and experience that reflection through our marriage.
At all times, we are to remember to put Christ in the centre of our marriage so that we never stray from the joy of knowing that this partnership is God's preview of His love for us.
